Under Your Hat

This entry is to commemorate my big lug, my fur ball, my Digger dog.  A few weeks ago now, we learned that the newspaper lady had clipped him with her car, heard him yelp, but did not see which way he went.  Enough time and searching (including my mother braking her wrist) has now passed that it seems that he will not be rejoining us in life. 

We feel very lucky that we spent time playing in the leaves with him about a week before the incident, and we have pictures of it too.  It makes me very sad to know that while we were playing in the leaves, I actually wondered if this would be his last year.  He was getting markedly slower and he was 11 years old at least.  I got him from the pound and the Vet estimated him at 1.5 years at that time.  He was a good guy to have around, he would pick up the paper from the end of the driveway in his younger years, he killed spiders on command for me, a couple of times he actually used his fabulous digging skills to help me instead of general property destruction.

Over the last month, Cullen has brought him up and spoken about him a number of times and has shed tears over him 3 or 4 times.  I find this especially touching because Digger has lived at my parents full time, except for 1.5 months this year, for the last 2 years.  When we moved we did not have a fence right away and then when we tried to bring him home A/ my dad didn't want him to come home and B/ Digger dug huge holes under the fence, since it was too high to jump, so that he could go rabbit hunting.  This probably didn't make people using the trail feel very comfortable and our neighbours were concerned for him and kept bringing him back.  Although I know he would return on his own when he was finished hunting, it's not really something that's encouraged within town limits.

He wasn't without faults, but he will nonetheless be greatly missed.

The following are some pics of Digger:

It was the match up of the perennially hapless, meets the currently desperate.  Officially known as the Browns v. the Lions.  I believe people, at least in this area, were feeling that the Lions could win.  I personally thought it was pretty much a toss up, though I do know a certain Browns fan that was definitely wanting a win (LG). 

As it turns out, the Lions have no defense (as we know), but neither do the Browns (at least in yesterday's game).  The game was chock full of scoring and in the final seconds, the Lions had the last posession and therefore put the final and winning points on the board.  Having not really found another team to endear myself to as of yet, I still listen to hear if the Lions win or lose and I listen to the game coverage on the radio on the way to soccer.  I haven't mentioned anything about it, but what was there to say, other than the usual "Yep, they still suck".  It's nice that they won another game, but that in no way means that they are on the road to recovery.  It's just too soon to tell.  I'll give them one more year to show improvement before I decide that this version is the same as the rest, many of them are rookies this year.

Hope LG had fun at the game.

Here we are at the end of a somewhat hectic week, in which I got only 3 hours of sleep on Thursday night.  I was marking papers and wanted to have them finished to hand back on Friday.  Mission completion!  Felt good to have them finished. 

I have applied and worn make-up to a social outing 3 times this week.  How is this possible?  It's a good thing, since all three outings were nice gatherings.

For any and all that may be wondering, I have located the male, competitive ego.  It hadn't gone far, I just hadn't encountered it in a social event recently. I have of course spotted it lurking around the classroom at work, but that is to be expected since I teach a physical education course.

Where I didn't expect to find it was at a gathering of Barry's recreational baseball teammates.  Two of them actually began arguing over thier respective sons' baseball teams.  I thought it was going to come to blows at one point, which is just ridiculous to me.  There was a serious discussion going on in the corner of the room and I thought I would go over to say hi in order to basically give the one man a out of the conversation.  There are certain people one just needs to only be in conversation with for just so long before they can't take it any more. 

When I got over there I realized by the tones of voice and pace of discussion that it was not just serious, but a heated debate that was teetering on argument and fisticuffs.  I had not yet said hello, but it was too late I was trapped in testosterone corner.  I had been seen and was in a position that I would have to cross the path of the argument in order to get out.  Not good.  I decided to blend into the corner the best that I could and attempt not to draw any attention. 

The argument boiled down to one guy, whose child is capable and interested in playing at a higher level, wants to get a release (which I think is an idea and regulation that is antiquated in this day and age) from the local community to do so.  The other guy, says that he is on the side of the smaller community, but what he is really upset about is his own ego that he has extended to his son's ability to play ball.  Guy # 2 or "jealous man", uses every round about and slippery slope argument that he can think of, but in the end says that the conversation is "rubbing him the wrong way" and goes to make a pool shot.  Guy #1 or "supportive father", then looks at his brother (who has come over to see what is going on) and gives a shrug, an I don't know face and a hand motion I think to let his brother know that it would be OK.  Jealous man then drops the pool cue onto the tabel and tells them, "Not while I'm shooting, and uses it to escalate the situation to a near fist fight.  Everyone tells them to stop and that they are fighting over 12 year old baseball.  In the mean time the argument deteriorates into "Why shouldn't my son be exposed to better caliber ball if he's capable, he could get looked at." and the real conclusion that Jealous guy has come to and the actual reason he is upset "You think you're better than us."  Having known both of them for 8 years, I can state with pretty good certainty that Supportive Father never once said or intended anything of the like, it is but the fragile, extremely competitive ego of Jealous Man that allows him to take the smallest little thing and twist it into something meant to disrespect and put him down.

This situation sheds light, not just on the male ego, but the state of children's sports today (especially any sport that could lead to a professional career).  The fact that communities have instituted rules requiring a release form to be signed in order to play in a different community for baseball, as well as hockey, is about the organization's need to win , even if to the detriment of the children, and the parents' desire and hope that they are raising the next superstar.  What are we teaching our children?  Are they commodities to be bought, sold and traded without their own input in the matter?  Are children to be giving up genuine opportunity so that their community can win?  If a child is capable to play at a higher level, do they not deserve the opportunity to do so, or should they learn to squelch their talents and dreams at an early age?  This is the exact type of situation that is part of the reason that baseball has lost participants in droves over the last 15 years.  When it is more about parents playing politics than it is about fun, children sense this and stop playing.  Wondering why the sport you love is languishing?  Look to the behaviour of yourself and other parents for the answer first.

Other than the end of the evening, it was a pretty good night.  I got to talk to a number of people that I haven't seen in a while and that was good.

Over the last month, there have been a number of fall events going on that we attend annually.  With Hallowe'en bringing up the rear we are now in the clear until American Thanksgiving. 

The past week was quite eventful.  Our Digger is missing after being clipped by a car, my mom broke her wrist when she fell while she was looking for him, the students ran their 5K for Heart & Stroke, it was Hallowe'en and indoor soccer started on Sunday.  Phew!  That's a lot for one week.  Obviously, it's been a mixture of good and not-so-great news. 

Apparently the lady that delivers the newspaper clipped Digger while on her route early Wednesday morning.  You may remember that he's been missing before for about a week, but he hadn't been injured that time.  I hope for 2 things: 1/ I would love it if he found his way home and was in a physical condition that would allow us not to have to have him put down.  2/ If he did pass away, I hope that we find him somewhere, and or that it didn't involve a lot of suffering. 

To top this story off mom and dad were out looking for him and she falls and breaks her wrist.  Jeez Louise.  I took her in to the fracture clinic Thursday morning.  Good news is that she'll be off work until the beginning of December.  This also means that I'll be taking her place in the gravy room at the church's turkey supper on U.S. Thanksgiving, and therefore unable to attend the festivities at LG's.

I'm proud of the students for raising nearly $5,000 for the Heart & Stroke Foundation on Friday for their 5k run.  Way to go!  Also, a big thanks to the Crowder family for donating Tim Horton's bottled water and Lucy Forster for helping me procure it for the event.

Hallowe'en was a great day.  We got to see family and neighbourhood friends. Cullen was dressed as a Cowboy Sheriff.  He loved his costume and it was something that we could put a sweater under without ruining the look of the costume.  This year Cullen and Barry carved one pumpkin into a "scary" one.  It looked a little like Hell Raiser with all the toothpicks that Cullen put in it.  I carved the requested Scooby-Doo.  It turned out pretty well.  I like carving the characters.  It takes a while, but it's satisfying in the end.

The weeks just keep flying by and I have little idea how to slow them down.  I don't think anyone knows how, just have to keep on keeping on.

I ended up having a pretty good and relaxing Saturday night out.  I am happy that I was able to be away from the house and all of the things that I would have ended up thinking about getting done while Cullen was away.  I am also happy that Barry and I spent time concentrating on each other without any real distractions.  It was good to get to know him again.  I'm glad that I chose to go with an attitude open to fun. 

We ended up staying at the Casino, which for those that don't know me, isn't really my thing.  What was good was that we didn't gamble a dime, had a good meal, hung out together and walked around a bit to do a little people watching.  I have never been to Vegas, but my husband has and he says it is a completely different atmosphere than this casino.  I reckon it has something to do with the union mentality in this city, which breeds disdain for any and all workplaces and protects those that are incompetent and generally miserable in their work.  How is it that the people making upwards of $25/hour plus tips in a customer service career that actually has a union and benefits could be as down trodden in attitude as they are?  I also figure that it has something to do with the tip-pooling that goes on.  When I was younger I worked in restaurants for 8-10 years and was always against tip-pooling.  Why should schlumpy get an equal benefit from my hard work and friendly attitude when they are not contributing the same?  Keeping the tips that one earns is a motivator to be outgoing, friendly, and accommodating for customers.  Giving schlumpy my hard earned cash, is decidedly not a motivator.  Half of the people working at this establishment look like they just rolled out of bed.  We were somewhat embarassed that these people are directly representing the city to travellers from afar.  We ran into a father and son from Pennsylvania in the elevator.  I hope they didn't think that the whole city was full of "Debbie-downers".  They had no way of knowing that we were from the area, I don't think we told them.

I am thankful that my husband planned us some time away and I am looking forward to a time when we can do this again.

I am innocently standing in line to get lunch in the cafeteria at work yesterday when..... The lady behind me in line first says to me how she looks like garbage today.  OK, whatever.  A few steps later she says to me, " I know I don't know you, but can I lean my head against your shoulder, I'm so tired."  She then proceeds to lean her head against my shoulder blade, without having waited for a response.  My entire body tenses up and I side step away a step or two.  I get my lunch and go as quickly into the staff lounge as I can. 

In case you're trying to picture this individual, she is a good 6 inches shorter than I am, in her 40's with grey hair in a style reminiscent of the female mullet.  I have been standing in the rain with the students for 3 hours previously, so I myself am not looking, or feeling so hot, but at least I still have enough wits about me to know where the boundaries of personal space are.  She is definitely a student and not staff of any sort.  Is it any wonder why she is currently attending school and not in a profession of any sort?  She obviously was never socialized properly as a child and has therefore not been able to achieve or maintain a position within society.

Could parents everywhere please socialize their children correctly instead of letting the TV do it?  Example behaviour on TV was not meant to become the norm, it was meant to entertain.  One must learn boundaries from real life example and instruction from parents.

Other than creepy cafeteria patron lady, yesterday was a pretty good day.  The students ran their 1.5 mile run and then had a written exam. 

I'm tired today.  The husband planned an evening without Cullen for my birthday, but I really just want to go to bed.  The evening isn't so much for me as it is for him anyways,  I don't think it was my idea to go to a hotel and there is really only one reason for it.  I am not in the mood for that.  Thank goodness he was totally just thinking about what I would like to do when he came up with this, yeah right.  I really need to snap out of this and see the nice thing he was trying to do, I'll try.  Maybe I'll feel differently when he gets back from London this afternoon some time.  I hope so.  I hope to be feeling like, wow my husband is so great for planning a nice evening for us, I just am no where near there yet.  Right now I feel like it's Valentine's Day and he's given me Lingerie, it's not so much for me as it is for him, but Happy Birthday.

I promise myself that I will attempt to have fun tonight.  I will leave the house with a mindset that is open to having fun.

So much for trusting any medical information regarding recovery time for this procedure.  The pamphlet they handed out at the hospital stated that one could return to normal activity after 3 days.  Not so much.  I guess it's quite relative to what a person feels is "normal" activity.  I, for instance would have played soccer on Sunday, but that was not happening.  I have another game today and that is also not happening.  I went to pass the hockey ball around with the neighbourhood kids (and Cullen) and that was barely happening.  I am fairly sore now and my abdomen swelling went from being down a little bit, to unable to wear pants.  I hope that this is partially due to my monthly cycle showing up, but if it isn't I am very perturbed by it. 

I hope it decides to actually rain more than a spit today.  We need it.  My grass is generally in good shape, but my dad's crops are really suffering.  Our first tomato is still on the vine, just turning orange.  I guess I underestimated how long it would take to ripen.  I am hoping to garner enough tomatoes from these 2 plants to make home made salsa this year. 

All in all I'm having a fun summer off and appreciating that I have a job to go back to in the fall.

If you had to give up either email or the telephone for the rest of your life, which one would your forgo?

 

That's a tough one.  I suppose my answer would have to be that I would give up email, since telephone is more personal, and one can get a more accurate read on a situation from voice patterns and pitches than the sometimes totally inaccurate written words people chose to use.

Ever feel like you've been stabbed in the stomach twice?  Well, now I somewhat know how that feels.  Granted mine were more precision cuts than street fight slaughter type, they still hurt.  I was also a very foolish individual at my last appointment before the procedure.  After my examination, the Dr. started writing a script and said "You're going to have some pain from that so I'll give you this."  I misunderstood and thought that he meant I might have pain from the examination, and since that has in the past (with OB-GYN #1) been the case, didn't think much of it.  I neither filled the script, nor kept it, thus leaving myself totally sans pain killer for the recovery from yesterday's procedure.  I am thankful that I have a fairly high pain tolerance and that I have not really needed anything since last night's extra strength Tylenol.  I can't have codeine, allergic response to it after Cullen was born.  After I finally got over my anaesthetic nausea, around 10 - 12 hours after surgery, I managed to scarf down some toast and some Tylenol and get some sleep.

Today, I was a little ginger getting around and I can't pick things off the floor and I shouldn't be stretching too far either, found that out the hard way.  I was sitting around feeling totally useless and like I was wasting a day, so I decided to clean the bathroom sinks, toilets and the shower glass in our ensuite.  I was OK until I had to reach to get the top of the shower glass, the stretching gave me a bit of a sharp pain in the incision area so I repositioned myself, finshed what I was doing and went to sit on the couch and rest.  I don't think I did any real damage, I think it was just a warning pain that I was close to doing damage.  In any case, I don't see any fresh blood at the site and I feel relatively OK now. 

One funny part of this whole thing was that Barry, after taking quite good care of me for the day, expressed that he had thought that it wasn't so invasive now.  I told him that even though the incisions are smaller, there is no way to make it uninvasive.  He says, I guess so, I just didn't realize it was like this.  I'm thinking Duh, what did you think was going to happen.  He just has very little clue about the human body.  Oh my god his parents taught him nothing about his own body.  I am always explaining to Cullen how his body works, including correct names and in terms he can understand. I have even told him that underneath his skin there are veins and arteries that carry blood from his heart.  Do I expect him to be able to repeat this explanation?  No, I do not, but somewhere in  his subconscious he is familiar with these terms and this concept. 

I am off to bed now, I give up waiting for Barry to return from baseball any time soon.  I will never understand why it takes so long to play 2 softball games that start @ 6:15PM.  It is now 11:30 PM.  On Wednesday night I was home from my 6:15PM soccer game between 10 & 10:30PM and that includes having a drink and a burger with the team at Jose's afterward.  I might add that 1 soccer game is made up of two 45 minute halves and I have a 45 - 50 minute drive home.

Looking forward to a nice weekend.

I have 2 new books to read over the summer.  I don't think they'll be heavy reading, but I'm hoping to like them. I liked my last pick.

Dinner With Anna Karenina

Gloria Goldreich

The Glass Castle: A Memoir

Jeannette Walls